Hello, my name is Serina
A look into the mind of a Schizophrenic Mare
Short Story written by:
With inspiration and help by:
and I’m a friend.
When I was a little filly, I had a friend that came to visit me every day.
I guess you could say she was the first friend I ever had, and the longest lasting friend at that. I don’t remember the exact date I first met her, but I do remember the occasion.
I was in my room, only sort of by myself. My parents were right outside the door having a conversation with some dinner guests. While I was old enough to hear what they were saying and understand some of the bigger words, I rarely ever listened to what they said. most of it seemed to blur into incoherent noises before long, and I found myself only sitting there and staring at them.
I don’t know why I tried to tune them out so much at such a young age. Maybe it was because I knew they were almost always talking about me. Maybe it’s because when the topic was about me, it was usually laced with concern. Maybe I just didn’t want to hear what they were so worried about.
They certainly did have a great deal to worry about. I was a very quiet little equine. That isn’t to say I was shy, because I wasn’t. It also wasn’t that I was stand offish or introverted, cause I didn’t meet the criteria for those personalities either. I was simply quiet, perhaps a little mute at the time. Not because I lacked the ability to speak; Because I felt no need to. The adults gave me nothing of value to speak my mind about, and the children did little to interest me.
So that brings me back to my thesis: I had a friend.
She came that same day, when the dinner guests were being entertained, and I sat in the middle of my floor watching them from the rug. I saw her come through my door, and I remember exactly how she looked at the time. She was my age, but she carried herself more like an adult. She wore a big red bow in her red mane (It was just as red as mine) and a pretty little red dress with a skirt that ran halfway down her back legs. Her eyes, also red (I began to notice a theme here) gazed at me with a personality all their own; A cheerful, friendly expression. And on her face she wore the largest, bright smile I’d ever seen.
She had come into the room specifically for me, and I knew she wanted to meet me. She spared little time in introducing herself, but not before doing a small spin in place to show off her precious little attire.
“Do you like it?” She asked me enthusiastically. It was a simple enough question, I’m still not sure why I couldn’t give her an answer right away. I took a moment to appraise her look with a confused stare. Why had this filly wanted my opinion? And furthermore, which of these dinner guests did she belong to? I didn’t remember seeing her come in, and I certainly hadn’t ever seen her at school.
“Uhm, hello?” She greeted suddenly, shaking me from my momentary daze. I looked up to find her now only a couple feet from me, waving a hoof at my face to get my attention. “Did you hear me? I asked you if you liked my dress?”
Who exactly was this filly, and why was she so adamant in my approval? Without much of a clue on how to answer her properly, I opted to simply nod my head at her, hoping the gesture satisfied her query.
“That’s not an answer!” She replied, her cheeks puffing out in a sort of child-like pout. She stomped both front hooves onto the ground in front of me, causing me to jump a bit. “When someone asks you what you think of their dress, you don’t just nod like a dope! You use your voice and say: “Yah!” or “Uh huh!” or even “You bet!” Staying quiet is just…” She crosses her front legs in front of her chest in frustration, plopping down on her rump and looking away, clearly quite upset with my answers. “It’s not nice!”
I wasn’t entirely sure what to make of this situation, or why I was so required to humor her. Still, maybe it was me noticing how interesting she was in comparison to the other kids, maybe she was simply just unusual and I valued her eccentrics. Whatever the case, I found my voice, something I hadn’t often heard, and answered her in a soft tone that surprised me.
“Y-Yes! It’s very pretty!”
The other filly looked at me with one eye open, as if staring through a telescope at me from across the sea. For a while I wasn’t sure if I’d blown everything or not with this new girl who insisted on breaking me out of my silent spell. My fears were subsided when very suddenly, the other red-head burst into a fit of giggles that sent her falling onto her back.
At first, I think I was offended. I hadn’t spoke to anyone else but her, and she had the nerve to laugh at me!? I’m sure I looked considerably hurt when I suddenly leaned forward in a pounce ready position.
“Hey, knock it off!” I warned her, almost thrown off by the sound of my own voice. “What’s so funny anyways?”
The filly composed herself after a few breaths, looking up at me with a wide dopey grin. “It’s just…” She began. “You looked so serious and stuff and said it so dopey like: “It’s very pretty! Duhr!” She again returned into a fit of giggles that drowned out her next words.
I’m not sure if it was her contagious laughter, or the absurdity of the moment…but I too caught on to how silly the moment was, and found myself giggling along with her. We must have laughed for a full minute before either one of us spoke.
“You’re a total dork.” She said finally, after her breathing had subsided. “Hey, what are you even doing in here?”
Her question caught me off guard, I wasn’t sure how to reply immediately because I wasn’t actually doing ANYTHING. “I uhm..this is my room.” I tried to explain.
“Well duh!” She mocked with a blank expression. “I kinda figured that. But how come you’re in here, instead of out there? Why aren’t you with the other kids?”
I had to look away when she asked that, feeling once again awkward and out of place, like a square at a circle party. “I don’t know,” I tried to answer. “They just don’t interest me much I guess.”
“So sitting in here by yourself sounds even more fun?” She asked me with a look on her face that seemed more weird-ed out than concerned. Was I really that strange to others? I suppose I must have been, otherwise my parents wouldn’t seem so worried.
“Well…what else am I going to do?” I asked her, looking a bit sheepish for even giving her the ability to point out my flaws.
The filly caught on to my uncertainty and approached me while my head was lowered. A moment later I felt a hoof under my chin begin to raise my head till I was eye-level with hers. “Well, for starters…” She began, giving me a playful grin. “We could see how long you and I can sneak around the house without being noticed!”
“So…play a game?” I asked her, looking still unsure of myself or her. “I don’t know, won’t I just get in the way?”
“Maybe.” She offered nonchalantly, as she turned away and faced towards the door. “But sometimes being noticed or in the way…is exactly where you want to be! Sometimes…” She stepped towards the door, raising a hoof up above her head like she were preaching a sermon. “You got to step outside your comfort zone, and be the most crazy thing you can be! Something you wouldn’t normally do by yourself!”
“That’s what you gotta do sometimes.” She continued, turning back to me and flashing an inviting smile. “So what do you say, you wanna give your folks some new topics at the dinner table?”
That did sound appealing to me…for too long had I listened to My Mom and Dad carry on about how I wasn’t fitting in with the others because I didn’t conform. Maybe what I needed to do instead was exactly what this other red head was suggesting? Maybe I needed to branch out of my comfort zone and start doing things that might change the subject a bit. Somehow, in only a few words, this new girl had given me a purpose.
“…Well…” I said out loud mulling it over with myself. “I guess it could be fun.” That is, at least, what I wanted to say, but I didn’t get even a few words in before I felt the filly shoving me towards the door.
“Alright! This is gonna be a blast!” She announced to the house as I felt myself shoved out into the dining room.
The rest of the day was spent playing with the new girl. We explored the house from top to bottom, finding things I had either never noticed, or never knew were there. We snuck under the table, crawling along and doing our best not to bump or alert the dinner guests. Together we avoided the other kids, hiding behind corners and secretly changing things in the room when they weren’t noticing to play games with them.
When the house left us no more room for exploration, we moved outside, finding more of the world to explore. We played in the yard, reenacting our favorite stories as ourselves. During that time, I got to be whatever role I wanted. She never fought with me for who gets to be the good or bad guy. In fact, we never argued once. Together we had the most amazing time.
The day swept on rapidly, until morning turned to evening, and evening to dark. Soon all the guests were leaving and saying their goodbyes. I turned to my new friend as the parents were leaving, trying to determine to which she belonged to.
“I had so much fun today!” She announced to me with a gleeful squee, throwing herself at me and tangling my legs up in a hug. I struggled to retain balance as I smiled down at her.
“Uhm. Y-yeah! That was a lot of fun! Thanks for playing with me….But uhm…” Something then occurred to me. The entire play session, neither of us had asked for one another’s name’s. I figured now was as good of time as any to ask her.
I was just about to let the words leave my mouth when she suddenly waved at me and started to leave. “Buh bai! Lets play again tomorrow, okay?” She requested as she neared the fence.
Desperate and worried that I might lose contact with her, I quickly called after her earnestly. “W-Wait! I don’t even know your name! How will I know who to ask for?”
I saw her stop at the fence, and turn to look at me. I met her eyes and she met mine, and we shared a quite…strange moment. Like a bonding of some kind being formed between us. After what felt like hours she finally responded with a tilt of the head.
“What do you think my name is, if you were to guess?”
I had no idea how to answer something like that. But it wasn’t the first time this girl had thrown me through a loop today. After digging at my brain I said the first name to come to mind. “Uhm..I..I don’t know…Katerina, I guess?”
That caused her to smile brightly and announce that: “Yep! You got it! Good guess!” Then she offered me another wave, and before I knew it, she was disappearing into the night.
I raced back inside, filled with such adrenaline and excitement that finally, FINALLY, I had found somepony to be enthusiastic about. I felt so enthused that I even announced my news to my parents. It felt good to see the confused looks on their faces, no doubt shocked to hear their daughter indeed had a voice. Before I knew it, I was already in my room, in my bed, my nightlight on to help me see the journal I began to write all my thoughts down in.
That was the first day I met my long time friend. Katerina has been around since, and still talks to me to this day. While she is the most loyal friend I may have, she isn’t the only one. These days I have many friends. Forty-Eighty different friends, to be exact. I’ve met them over the years of my life, and all of them have stayed around.
Why does any of that matter? Well, it has to. Because this, if you haven’t guessed, is a story about friends. It’s a story about my friends, specifically, and how I met all of them.
But it isn’t the same story about friends you might have, or you might know of…My story is a little different…That’s because, all my friends are different from yours, and how I met them are different stories than yours.
And don’t worry. I’m going to tell you. It’s just going to take a little while.